Ah, soggy toast and weetabix on a tray with homemade cards! The boys would be so proud of their morning Mother’s Day breakfast tray, rattling their way up the stairs, cups of tea becoming less cups and more thimbles by the time most of it had spilled. I loved it all… their little faces when you’d open their handmade cards with their handprint…😭
Time flies!
How do YOU spend your Mother’s Day? Is it spent with family? Are you stuck in the kitchen while everyone waits for the dinner to be served? Are you whisked away for a weekend break? Or is it a simple meal at home with everyone around the table, dogs and kids and grandkids jostling for space? I’ve seen the confessions this morning — and if you’re feeling a bit forgotten this Mother’s Day, I’m sending you love. It’s not always breakfast in bed and handmade cards, I know. You’re seen, you’re appreciated, and you matter.
For some it can be a difficult time especially if you have experienced the recent loss of your mother. On this week’s podcast, I spoke with Dympna Little about her mother’s death from cancer, the heartbreak of dealing with delayed diagnosis, the anger at the cost of cancer wigs and the guilt of second guessing herself as to whether she was present enough in her mother’s care and final days. It’s a beautiful tribute to motherhood.
For some, Mother's Day is not a celebration, but a quiet ache. It can stir up feelings of sadness, especially for those who longed to become a mother but, for whatever reason, that path hasn’t unfolded. The day can feel heavy — a reminder of what hasn’t been, rather than what is. If that’s you, know that your grief, your hope, and your story matter. You are seen, and you are not alone.
Or perhaps Mother’s Day is difficult for those who have a difficult relationship with their mothers. That can make this day difficult to see all the ‘perfect’ family celebrations.
I know I am very lucky to have the mum I have. She not only looked after us, she encouraged us to be ourselves, to take our paths in life and live fully. While she was very strict with me as a kid (and boy did I need it!) we’ve become more like friends now. My sister Rachel recently became a mum and so this will be her very first Mother’s Day; it feels very special for us this year. She’s doing a fabulous job and, let’s face it, being a mother IS a job, full time, 24/7, 365 days a year… and it’s exhausting.
So how do we look after our mothers and how do we as mothers look after ourselves?
I know from hearing from so many of you on instagram, the Sunday Confessions in particular how hard it is. It can be lonely, the days are long, and we’re facing challenges with social media and video games that our parents never did. It’s a whole new world out there. Thankfully I think we ARE becoming more aware of mental health, how to advocate for care or simply freely describe how we feel without fear of judgement. Some of us love being mothers but find the everyday grind boring. Others go into full homemade butter and homeschooling motherlode. Hey- there’s room for all.
But what’s interesting with motherhood is how deeply it changes our identity. You can lose yourself. You’re no longer Jackie, but “so and so’s mum”. I don’t think there’s anything new with feeling lost at times. You can get so caught up in the sheer amount of things to remember, sign, wash, pack, tutor… that you don’t know whether you’re coming or going.
So this weekend, and every other weekend- or weekday- how about we look after ourselves? Giving ourselves the gift of a coffee and a walk with a friend a few times a week? Or getting up early in the morning to have a half hour to workout or meditate would be a lovely way to honour the work you do as a mother and the rest you deserve! It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive (but hey, if someone wants to send you to Majorca for the weekend, who are you to argue?) It’s about giving ourselves a very big pat on the back, for cheering each other on and not competing for ‘Mother of the Year Award’. You do you and what works for your family!
Wishing you all the cuddles and cheer this weekend and hopefully the kids will finally make doing the dishes part of their full time behaviour!
Happy Mother’s Day. Look after yourselves!
Laura x
